matriarchy

Last month, I have been alternating between rage, fear and love. The world is a scary place, if I watch too closely.

As a surviver of sexual abuse, reading about it in the news (Epstein files, Gisèle Pelicot case) triggers me. I get nightmares, I relive some of it. And there is a rage in me, a rage because it is so widespread, so common.

I know, “not all men”, I am married to a good man, but so many men, it is staggering. It can feel very frightening that passing a man I don’t know on the street, I never know if he is a rapist at heart, or in real life. Because it is not just the obvious ones, it is also the teacher, the nurse, the neighbor. That is what the Gisèle Pelicot case showed and what most women know, from experience.

The system we live in is wrong. We need community, to be able to be vulnerable and whole and for love to be able to flow. We don't want dominance and patriarchal hierarchy. We don't thrive as people in this structure, not the men and, for sure, not the women.

The rage I feel is shared by all the women I talk with. I love my friends fiercely, and this love helps me to overcome my fear of the world I live in.

I wish for matriarchy. A society that is built on community, on care, on equality. Because matriarchy is not just a switch of who is on top, but it has a totally different structure. There are still people living that way (The Mosuo: Mosuo - Wikipedia https://share.google/77wNcnS4yRj9N32go , for instance)

I have been making labyrinths for everyone who asked for one. I have been taking care of myself. I have rested and exercised. I have held my loves crying. I have listened to many people. I have cared. I have been held, I have been loved. I am knitting a colorful dress for myself. All these things are my way of creating community.